According to the Signs, What is the True Religion?

Troy Davis writes:

Today I was home and the phone (landline) rang. I answered it and it was a phony tech support guy trying to access my computer. Whenever a scammer calls me, I try to keep him/her on the line as long as possible to waste his/her time and demoralize the scammer (my all-time record: I kept "Rachel from Cardholder Services" on the line for 23 minutes before telling her that I work for the Federal Trade Commission).

Anyhow, I acted like a live one and kept the guy (probably from India or Pakistan) on the line for a while. He asked me for some information from my computer and I responded "choli ke peeche" (rough translation: "what's behind my blouse?"). I also told him that I was Aamir Khan. After a while of this, the really really dull scammer got the picture that I knew it was a scam.

Anyway, I began scolding him for trying to swindle people. He told me I was going to hell and told me to google "According to the signs, what is the true religion?"  When I did this later did this, I found a bunch of links for Islam. It's too bad I didn't do this when I had him on the line; I wanted to ask him what the deal was with Aisha and I also wanted to know if he celebrated Festivus.